Self-Defense Among Friends

A good friend and I were talking the other day. He and I are both in the Coast Guard and I have known him for a few years. ~Anyway~ We were talking and he made a comment that he once heard someone say that the only reason women join the military was to meet men. Then, he AGREED with it! I was little taken back, but still quick on my feet to defend myself. I met my husband in the Coast Guard and I dated a few Coasties before I met him. In other words, I have dated men I met through the military. I spouted off that it wasn't true and moved on in the conversation. A while later, alone, and unable to sleep, his comment still nagged at me. Well, I was on duty, and the beds are not Hilton hotel quality, but his comment definitely aided in my wakefulness. I wondered how many people had thoughts like his. Those attitudes are around more than I cared to acknowledge before that night. I wondered how many of my sisters in the military were dealing with the same stereo types. I thought about my reasons for joining and how belittled they were by such a widespread mentality. Many of my reasons were purely selfish. I wanted out of New Orleans. I wanted to go places and to do things. I wanted money for college. I wanted a job I could be proud of. On the other hand, many of my reasons are evidence of my idealism. I joined to give back to nation that has blessed me. I wanted to honor those that had gone before me. I have always wanted to leave the world a better place than I found it. None of them had anything to do with men.
I don't want to slam my friend so I withheld his name. He is smart and he is a good person. Other than this instance I truly respect his opinions. If he believes this, how many other people think this way? I found myself defensive and worried. I was worried that my actions may have contributed to this stereotype. I thought of the other women I know in the service. Many of them are married to or dating other service members. I don't believe that supports the conclusion that all these women joined strictly to find men. I read that some overwhelming percentage of relationships begin in the work place, maybe that's why so many women in the military marry men in the military. Maybe it's all about being in the same place at the same time. Maybe these relationships grow because of shared ideals. Maybe these relationships grow because of mutual understanding of the arduousness and instability that military life can require. Maybe he was just teasing me and doesn't truly feel that way. Fat Chance, but I don't like hurt or resentment between friends so I'll give him, specifically, the benefit of the doubt. Call it self-preservation or self defense between friends. However, the comment still hit home because I think many people in our society don't respect a woman's decision to join the military. That makes me angry and frustrated. I hate dwelling on such hurtful things that I can not control. I try to look at the bright side of things. I guess with that mentality such a callous point of view can be a beautiful thing. It represents choice. It represents freedom of speech and thought, & our freedoms are the roots of the country I swore to protect against all enemies both foreign and domestic with or without a man at my side.
Y'all Take Care,
Charissa

A Tortured Soul's Lullaby; My ten feel good beliefs.

These are the ten things I tell myself or do when I'm stressed, down, or flat out pissed off.
1) Numbre Un:
People don't appreciate the things and relationships they have until they are gone. I will not take be taken for granted personally.

2) Numero Dos:
I am full fledged beleiver in karma. I think that way I have treated people and the things I have done and continue to do in my life will come back to haunt or reward me and everyone else accordingly. In a sense, what goes arround comes arround and it's usually well worth the wait.

3) Numero Tre:
This too shall pass. If I think back to all of the darker times in my life there was always a since of hopelessness. I got through that then I'll get through this now.

4) Number Four:
The best revenge that provides the most satisfaction is happiness (or at least a really good job of faking happiness.)

5) Císlovat pět:
Strength is beautiful and what does not kill you makes you stronger.

6) Numerus Six:
Music soothes the Soul, Knowledge soothes the Mind, and Love soothes the heart.

7) αριθμόs επτά:
Take a break from stress and be silly. Once, I had a not so great night on a much antcipated vacation. I was stressing out that I had ruined my trip and pissed off my friend. I was on the verge of tears. I was going to go outside to smoke and of course it was raining. That did it instead of sobbing and crying, "Why Me?!?" I grabbed my CD player and danced in the rain in my pink polka dotted boy shorts and jamma shirt to Mouin Rouge. I know you think I'm crazy but I felt a lot better that night.

8) ナンバーエイト:
Hit the Gym. One of the best workout motivators for me is anger. Sweat that mood poison out the old fashion way.

9) Número nove:
Drive. Hit the open road with some tunes, a cold drink, and a brand new pack of smokes. Sing into the wind and smile.


10) Zahl zehn:
2 words: Retail Theraphy

Yall Take Care,

Charissa

For you smartish types: Can you name the ten languages used in this blog entry?

The Quest for Greatness & Illusions of Grandeur

I was leaving a comment for a fellow blogger when I realized that at 25 I am still hoping for greatness. It's hard to define greatness because it's such an individual achievement. My friend's boyfriend for example thinks that he has achieved greatness b/c he has beat every level in every video game he has ever played. Obviously not my idea of greatness...(I'm not slamming professional video gamers, it just not me.) Greatness to me would be being Oprah. I love Oprah. She made all her money herself. She didn't get it from her husband or her father. Can you tell I admire independence? She came from a Podunk town in the South and learned to love the rest of the world. So many people born and raised in the South stay in the South and truly despise other places they have never been too. Many of them hate people they have never met for some silly reason or another. Oprah is very powerful woman and she uses her power to help other people. I want to be Oprah but as Charissa. I'm just saying that if she ever needs a side kick or wants to train a replacement so that she can retire she should call me. Yes I am delusional. I want to be that great. I'm going back to school to study Journalism at Tulane this fall while working full time. I want my own show one day. I want to talk about friends, love, loss and clothes. I want to get the issues out there that touch my heart and the hearts of others. I want to remind people to love life and help them reach their full potential and achieve their own state of happiness. I want to travel and journal my experiences for all of America to see. I want to make a difference and that's how I want to make it. I'm come up with other ideas in my life time to be great, but that's the one I come back to. I've been told dream big. I know I'm crazy, but why not. Why can't I? What's the worst that could happen. Disappointment isn't the worse feeling in the world. What doesn't kill you make you stronger if you can learn from it...right.
We'll see I guess.
Y'all Take Care,
Charissa

Radio Station Awesomeness!!

This post topic is proof that when the big things in your life aren't going so well it's the little pleasures that count. One would think that the city of New Orleans would have a wonderful selection of radio stations. Not that case.... I have hated all of them until today. The few that play good music play the same songs over and over again until they become an irritant to your brain and you want to decapitate yourself so they'll stop playing in your head. Today was a good day, I now have a favorite radio station. I will admit when it comes to radio stations; I am high maintenance. I currently pay $12.95 per month for my Sirius 300+ channels. I think it is worth every penny. It is good to have a back up in case I forget my little Sirius pocket sized receiver thingy. My station of stations 106.7 the end. For you non New Orleans lucky people you can check them out on the web at http://www.1067theend.com The are an alternative station that plays a vast range of music. Did I mention that they actually play music? As you might have guessed most Radio Station DJ's here spend more time listening to themselves talk than playing semi-decent tunes. They also sponsor VooDoo Fest and Restaurant Month. VooDoo Fest is a music fest with tons of awesome bands, food, fun and all kind of colorful crazies. (Check out the banner at the bottom of the page!) Restaurant month is this tight deal were you can eat at the creme de la creme of New Orleans finest restaurants for $30. This girl loves food and music and this station has the hook-up. Thank god for the little things. I appreciate all the comments on the last post. Hugs and love to such a supportive community of bloggers. Y'all take care and tell your mom and them I said hello.
Charissa